loyalty in the odyssey essay

And after a miracle of a drive finished with an unforgettable pass into the corner of the endzone by my idol, Tom Brady, a swell of elated cheering and high-fiving from the fans in the bar ensued regardless of whether we had previously known one another. At the showdown with the suitors in the great hall, he is shrewd enough to get his mother out of the line of fire and mature enough to be a real help to Odysseus. She played soccer, but wasn’t the star player. Has your essay demonstrated change over time, or personal growth? To get more concrete: let’s say Michael wrote about his grandfather teaching him to surf in answer to several of those prompts—about a crucial summer, and an important person to him. A Chick-Fil-A every block? If you’ll let us wax philosophical for a moment: that ability to make meaning from something that isn’t pompous or dramatic—and to do so without being aggrandizing—is the stuff of great art. And after a miracle of a drive finished with an unforgettable pass into the corner of the endzone by my idol, Tom Brady, a swell of elated cheering and high-fiving from the fans in the bar ensued regardless of whether we had previously known one another. But the fact that her prose naturally settled on that as its first short, sharp sentence tells us that she’s making a statement she probably believes in. It’s natural that you’ll want to stray here or there, towards or away from the initial plan, but below are a few common errors that people make when they either don’t outline or ditch the guiding hand of their outline. The women in Odyssey are unique in their personality, intentions, and relationship … In fact, if tackled with intelligence, reflection, and organization, the college process can actually offer you a chance to make the admissions process about you as a person, rather than about a distant name on a screen. Is there a prevalent belief in your family or community with which you disagree? Michael is no great surfer by competitive standards, but he learned how to stand up on a board at a young age because his grandfather, who’s from Hawaii, taught him. You may have heard the phrase “holistic” admissions thrown around—many universities follow this model, which means they don’t necessarily have an ACT or SAT cutoff score, nor do they require a certain number of AP/IB/Honors courses. What are these mystical college essays, anyway? There’s a lot of narration that will be required for Michael to tell us about losing his grandfather—it’s too much to cram into the first paragraph. If it comes from someone you respect, think it over seriously, but remember that this is your voice, and write the person or tell them that you value their input but you think the essay sounds more like you if you keep it as it was. Let’s take Josh's essay about piano playing. (Note: The Common App Essay prompts are diverse enough that they allow you to write about pretty much anything. 3. Menelaus encourages him with news that Odysseus may be alive and held captive by a goddess-nymph named Calypso. As we go through some of these errors, we’ll also make a list of a few general tips and tricks for managing some of the toughest parts of your essay, including time, scene, epiphany, change, character, and more. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution. I was able to work with my teachers over the summer after my freshman year, however, and attended summer school to make up for weak performance. They say a piece of short fiction is about a moment after which nothing will be the same again. Are you sure you want to remove #bookConfirmation# ), (Suggested reading: Which Schools Use the Common App? I have always been loyal to the Patriots…. I didn’t turn to drink; I turned to the TV screen. The essay he’s going to write is actually about practice, and learning to stop making mistakes. How have you spent your summers in high school? Your job, if you’ve started this early, is not to start writing your draft immediately, or even to choose which Common App prompt you plan to select. For J, this might mean beginning with a time before he and his sister were close—say, when all the siblings were in the house and there wasn’t much time for the two to connect. 1. By the end of the season, the staff knew what we wanted to eat, and where we wanted to sit, so the sports bar felt like a second home. We’ve seen students write about the New England Patriots, the poetry of John Keats, their grandparents’ village, their obsession with keeping too many Google Chrome tabs open, how grilling meats represented a rite of passage, and many more topics that range from the super-serious to the lighthearted but still meaningful. Returning to the outline, or making the outline partway through, would remedy that. They might invite you to talk more about an extracurricular activity on your resumé, or to reflect on a quote from a famous alumna/alumnus of the college and share your thoughts. Start with the one that moves you most—that’s your personal statement—but save all the others as fodder for your secondaries, or as backup material in case someone you trust tells you to consider switching topics for some reason. The Common App Additional Information section offers the opportunity to provide context about hardships you might have faced during high school. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma—anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. She’s defined loyalty for the purposes of this essay, which means now we are playing in her house. If you’re well below that limit, it’s worth asking yourself why your personal statement is so short. Forget medals, victories, grades—what intangible, off-your-resumé quality or moment of your life are you proudest of? Tell the story of that realization—set the scene, down to every image, who was or wasn’t in the room. The trick Michael and Anita each pull off is spinning the experience forward so that it means something for the rest of their lives. Menelaus encourages him with news that Odysseus may be alive and held captive by a goddess-nymph named Calypso. I’m completely invested in the Pats; I’ve been known to be giddy when they win, and tearful when they lose. Another way of thinking about this is: your essay is about how your past influences your future, or the way you think now. Does what happened that day influence you today? What was the outcome? And she’s very close to her father and has a tight-knit group of friends. A move? 1. Let all that you’ve written sit, latent, so you’re not tempted to edit it right off the bat. Try to think of a story you often tell people that shows something about you. As you’re iterating, try Tip #7: Read your drafts aloud so that you can tell when things feel stiff or weak; this should sound like you. (Remember: Specific anecdotes are your friend when drafting your Common App personal statement. Set the scene: what rooms are you in in your house, or are you in your house at all? Prompt 7. So instead Anita decides to write about a wilderness solo she took in North Carolina on a school trip, and about how it influenced her relationship with poetry. She is known primarily as a poet, but she also wrote novels, memoirs, and essays and did … In order to get into your dream school, you’ll need not only great grades and test scores but also a strong personal statement. Tell the story of the most meaningful time you did this thing—it might be, say, when you won a game, but it also might be when you lost a game, or when you quit the team. Perhaps a particular summer that mattered a lot? With just over a minute left to play, my dad—the man responsible for bringing me, a 15-year-old, to a bar—dejectedly asked me if we should leave. But in the year since we began staking out the bar, we’ve gotten so much closer. That’s the key: your job is to find the right question to answer, using all the prewriting tips and tricks and exercises we’ve outlined here. What prompted your thinking? Troy's athletic ability diminished before the Major Leagues accepted blacks. She is a rabid fan of the New England Patriots, despite living in California for most of her life. If you run out of things to write, write “I don’t know I’m bored I don’t know help help I hate writing!” until new words come. Every year, the college application process seems to get more complex, and more intense. Let your hand roam free. The prince stands against more than a hundred suitors with only his father and a couple of herdsmen on his side. What notes should your essay hit? Everything we’re talking about here—writing, noticing mistakes, correcting them—will take you at least three and as many as five or six drafts to get right. Think of a specific time they helped you with something. Review the Common App prompts and identify which ones get your juices flowing. They’re also not a place to prove that you’ve had some major epiphany, changed the world, seen the Truth of reality, etc, at eighteen. Take Michael, again. account only for 70-90%. Polyphemus (the Cyclops) and King Alcinous. Tell the story of the first time you learned about these values—say, a morning at Sunday School or a conversation with a grandparent. So we decide that Ramya is going to write about the Patriots. You can also learn more about our 1-on-1 college admissions support here. And I realized how lucky I was: sports offers my dad and me an inexhaustible topic that we can always turn to. Don’t get stuck in an endless spiral of copy-and-paste—by printing out your draft, you can keep a draft next to you and then open a new document so that you feel free to rewrite entire paragraphs, or delete sections entirely.) Cheap essay writing sercice. We strongly recommend using all 650 words, though you are not required to do so. Broad, right? Tell the story of how you figured out you were wrong. Think quality, not quantity. If you’re a parent, you might be afraid of how much the college admissions system has changed and grown more competitive since you were your kids’ age, or perhaps you never had to navigate this system at all. This was the billboard paragraph Ramya reached after a few rounds of edits: There are a few different kinds of loyalty. That means each component of your application—your Common App personal statement, your supplemental college essays, your teacher recommendations, the classes you’ve taken—is a kind of episode in the story.). Don’t show anyone anything you have written yet. In an ideal world, you can start writing and planning for your college essays the summer before your senior year. You shouldn’t sound like you swallowed a Thesaurus, but you should sound a little more formal than your text messages to your friends would. Work in these for the summer. If Josh has always had a perfect relationship with his sister, well—first, no one will believe that!, and second, Josh is not really telling a story. In this type of essay, our hero (you, the writer) meets a challenge in the first paragraph and then the essay is devoted to showing us how it is solved. Why? If the Iliad is the world's greatest war epic, then the Odyssey … Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. Throughout this guide, we’re going to refer to a few Common App Essay examples. Your Personal Statement is the single loudest ‘qualitative’ element of your application. Who encouraged you to? Ramya’s essay is going to focus on loyalty: a big theme, one that would sound terribly weak if she introduced it in the first line or even paragraph, but one that is surprising and interesting here because she’s juxtaposed it against a unique setting and seemingly light fare—sports at a bar. Troy is also a former baseball star in the Negro Leagues. My family also repaired itself after a few years and time in family therapy. We discussed one of these themes, hospitality, and the other themes on this webpage are very interesting as … The Common App Essay word limit is 650 words. Let’s say you’re left alone an entire weekend in your house. Over the past 15 years, he and his team have helped thousands of students get into elite institutions. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. In order to have this kind of time freedom, you’ll have to start early. These were such simple revelations, yet they made all the difference. Too much feedback can confuse your sense of mission. Prompt 6. Who handed it to you? Dr. Shirag Shemmassian is the Founder of Shemmassian Academic Consulting and one of the world's foremost experts on college admissions. As a 5’1.75” Asian girl, not many people would expect me to spend every Sunday in a bar watching football....I was tired of streaming the games on my computer, and having it lag before every major play. In telling this as a story, Ramya has given the admissions committee a human being to relate to from the jump. One of the major challenges for many students about applying to college is knowing that they are full of passion and potential energy which hasn’t yet been converted into kinetic energy. (Remember that if you are applying early action or early decision to schools your deadline will come at the start of November, whereas regular decision applications will generally have December and January deadlines.) We look at the themes that came up during Josh’s reflection. Not as long as he tells us how surfing influences him—as he did in extracting a wider lesson. You can’t box yourself up and hand your soul to the admission committee—but you can use those 650 words to give them some insight into some of the most important parts of you. Let’s find out what our sample students chose to write about. Freewriting is one of the fun parts, so the more you can do it, the better.There are a number of ways to approach freewriting, and all of them are meant to keep you limber, loose, and free. Have you ever been forced to try something you weren’t good at? As the epic opens, Telemachus, about 21 years old, is on the brink of manhood, uncertain and insecure in his potential power, and in grave danger from the suitors who would prefer to see him dead. The Mini-Odyssey Essay: The last classic and powerful module is the good old problem-driven essay. At the bar, nobody cared what I got on my last math test or which boy was asking my friend to prom. An Ode to Brady won’t do the trick here—but what will is Ramya’s thoughtful reflection on how spending time watching the Patriots at a sports bar every Sunday with her dad has given her a relationship with her father that most of her friends have never enjoyed with their families. Why? So here are a few adjusted timelines that can allow you to take advantage of the brainstorming and freewriting process even if you don’t have the full six-month window. bookmarked pages associated with this title. Tell the story of a time when you think you did a great job of helping another person. Student #3: Josh: Josh isn’t sure what he wants to study. With just over a minute left to play, my dad—the man responsible for bringing me, a 15-year-old, to a bar—dejectedly asked me if we should leave. She’s spent her high school years participating in a variety of activities. Reading aloud can help you catch things like Common Error #5: tonal errors—sounding too formal or too glib/casual. Why does it captivate you? Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If you’re really struggling to outline and would rather just follow the pen to a first draft, that’s fine, but do yourself a favor and make outlining your second draft step. It’s best not to hand your essay to every person who comes your way, no matter how many smart teachers, friends, and peers you have at your disposal. Parents who get too handsy with their kids’ essays can do their children a real disservice; it’s clear when someone who isn’t 18 was serving as the guiding force in the essay-writing process. So you’re in a good tradition if you stick to humility and take a deliberate and honest approach to your essays. They can but need not discuss family, identity, race, gender, or class. Does their home impact your day-to-day life? They form the cornerstone of the qualitative side of your application. Of course, the terrifying part of starting any new piece of writing—whether you’re a professional, seasoned author or a high schooler planning for college—is the spooky glare of the blank page, that blinking cursor that doesn’t quite seem to yield to you. If six minutes doesn’t work for you, or if you think you’re not getting in the zone in that amount of time, try doing three pages in your composition notebook instead. Why? From my toddler days, as I sat mesmerized in front of the screen to today, as I analyze every statistic that I can get my hands on, I love every aspect of the team. They’re about getting you in touch with the most authentic and vibrant version of yourself. Here’s what Ramya’s essay looked like, in the end: Just before 5 pm on Sunday, October 13, 2013, I was sitting in a bar, holding on to a feeling of optimism that was fading fast. Get our free 110-page guide for strategies to become the kind of applicant that selective colleges love to admit: How to Get Into America’s Elite Colleges: The Ultimate Guide. With the right question, you can use your Common App Essay as a window into who you are, rather than feeling burdened by the belief that you must communicate your ‘whole self’ in your application. It’s sweet that she’s small, but there’s a lot in here that we don’t need: we don’t need her height, nor do we need to know that she used to get the games in one particular way or another. What do your friends come to you seeking help with? Have you ever had a moment when everything just *clicked*? The Rank-Ordered List). 4. But none of those things seem to tell the admissions committee what they wouldn’t already know from simply reading her list of extracurriculars.

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